Goodbyes are Hard to Say
“….in the end, memories won’t desert us.”
My generation is quick to argue about how, and whether or not people are replaceable. Sometimes as an excuse not to be held accountable for really bad behaviours while associating with one another; after all, there will always be someone who will put up with these behaviours. Other times to console ourselves, after a sordid experience, that they are still good people out there with whom we will get to experience whatever good we think we deserve.
When you hear people’s thoughts or get to read their opinions about this subject. From vast majority, there is one thing you will realize; how selfish this generation has become. You will wonder where the core values of friendship, and/or relationship of any sort have gone; how forging meaningful relationships and building genuine friendships have degenerated over the years. Albeit a few still in existence. The truth is, maybe people are replaceable or maybe they are not. Memories will always preside over us. While we may try as hard as we like to forget certain people, and whatever it is we had with them, memories are hard to relinquish. You could be in the middle of something, then get random flashbacks of certain moments shared with someone. This is how seemingly unfading memories are, likewise, they come at a time you are not in expectant. Without consulting. You may try as hard as you can to suppress them. But the harder you try, the more overwhelming they become. To avoid this, the best is to never even create memories with the person.
From a personal perspective, I hate it when I have to burn bridges. I am always hurt when my relationship with people comes to a halt, either from my end or from the other person’s; amorous, platonic or any kind you could think of. I am someone who always invest into any kind of relationship I have with people. I always give my all so when it comes to an unplanned end, it always takes a toll on me. It is always hard to say goodbye, especially when you never prepared or wanted to say any. I may be quick to move on or not, but memories always linger, even the ones I do not want to relive. I have had moments of retrospection since the past months, after I had ties severed, I was hurt; I am still hurt. Trying to understand if I could have had it another way. I understand that there is no point crying over spilt milk. And I am not to apportion blames but I was also lacking, so I am working on becoming a better person, I have been working. I have not gotten there yet as I am still a work in progress but I am proud of my growth thus far.
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend. From which I think it is safe to conclude that we are all broken in a way or the other. We react to hurt differently while it takes us different time to heal; so I understand when people are mindful of who they let into their lives at any time. I am also very selective about this as I know how, and at what cost I get redeemed. Oftentimes, there is a part of us that is scared to go into new relationships due to previous bad experiences. Even when we think we might have healed enough, and when we do go into one. Commitment might be a bit difficult, at the early days. Just do not be too hard on yourself, and do not dabble into a new one with baggage from previous bad ones. It is not fair to melt out bad experiences on an innocent person.
It is absolutely okay when people outgrow friendships, very okay when priorities change, situations occur and we have to end relationships. However be sure that when you burn bridges, you won’t need to go back through that channel. And you should be mindful of how you end things with people. Flex about how you think you are independent, how you do not need anyone and how you can easily replace or cut off people; and do well without them. Except if you do not want to be sincere with yourself. We, humans, are wired to seek companionship at some point in our lives. Regardless of how stoic a person you think of yourself.